I don’t think that people know the whole picture when it comes to men that are on the down low. To be honest, I don’t quite understand it myself. I am only qualified, at this point, to share with you my life experiences.
At one point in my relationship with my ex husband, I really believed that he loved me. What I failed to realize was that to him, I was just cover. I was the woman in his life that deflected from the fact that he chose or preferred the sexual company of men.
We were together for four years before we got married. Shortly thereafter, we got our first house together. He had a friend that would come over whom we shall call Ray.
Ray was an openly gay man, but to look at him, you would think that he was one of the sexist, straight men alive. He shared with us the fact that he had AIDS.
To be honest, I was a lot like other people that was ignorant to this disease. When he came over, I never consciously made him feel uncomfortable. We would play cards or eat dinners together, but whatever he touched, I would bleach later. I made what I call “the Ray kit”. It included a glass, silverware, plate, bowl and any utensils that he would use when he was at my house.
I remember one night, we had all been drinking and Ray got sick and vomited on my leather furniture. I made my husband clean it up in the middle of the night because I didn’t want those germs in my house.
Ray and my husband began to spend more time together without me. There would be times when my husband would go off with him and stay for days. He would tell me that they were just drinking. (Who knew! )
I began to suspect that my husband was cheating on me, but I never thought that it was with a man. You see, Ray had a female friend that way always around. I didn’t know at the time, that she provided cover for them as well. I was worried about the wrong person.
I confronted my husband by telling him that I’d called the Maury Show because I wanted him to take a lie detector test to see if he was cheating on me and sleeping with men. He refused to go.
That should have been my first clue, but being that I was raised in the South, the old school way, where you stood by your man, I attempted to make it work.
Don’t get me wrong ladies, I NEVER had any complaints in our bedroom. When we were together, he made me feel like a queen. There was never anything that I wanted that he wouldn’t get for me, looking back, maybe it was too keep me around.
Hate to leave you hanging, but you have to check back for the rest of my story.