The Start of the Downward Spiral


In the last blog, we talked about my ex husband. Just want to continue from there.

I believe that my husband tried and still tries to buy love and friendship. There is nothing that I wanted that he wouldn’t give me. We didn’t have a lot of money, but he always found a way.

I always suspected that my husband was bi-sexual. I guess for a man, it’s hard to come out of the closet. The stigma attached to being a black gay man in some societies is totally unacceptable. Which I believe to be the case with my ex husband. He was raised in a very religious home, where homosexuals were cursed and damned to hell.  It’s understandable that he would keep that side of himself in the closet.

It’s estimated that most women contract HIV through heterosexual sex. (I have statistics on the facebook page.) I believe that the men that we get it from have had some type of homosexual relationships or were iv drug users. I’m not the expert here so don’t quote me.

Ok…. Back to me. About a year after my ex husband and his friend Ray reconnected, Ray died from complications of Aids. Like my ex husband, Ray was an alcoholic and was supposed to be on dialysis but he refused to go. His brother found him dead in his apartment.

At the funeral my ex husband seemed very distraught and inconsolable. When I tried to comfort him he would push me away. I couldn’t understand at that time the bond that they shared. This guy was not just his friend, but his lover. And I couldn’t compete with that.

Enough for now…. See you soon


13 thoughts on “The Start of the Downward Spiral

  1. I must say. You keep me hanging and wanting to get to the reason why I came out positive. Once we get to know each other I will share with you my journey. Let’s speak via email



    1. Although I am glad that I have inspired you and would be happy to talk to you via email. My whole purpose for starting this blog is to let other women know that they are not alone.
      When I was first diagnosed, I searched for support groups just for women. There were groups for the gay and lesbians community, for transgender and for men, but not many women spoke out. I felt alone, afraid and hopeless. I didn’t know what to expect. No one should go through this by themselves. That’s my purpose

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sorry it’s taken so long to get back with you. I have had some issues but I’m grateful everyday that I get a new start.

        When is your baby due and do you know what you’re having?


      2. Hello butterfly eighty one. I hope that all is well with you and the baby. I was just saying hello and checking on you. I hope that everything turned out well for your little one. Hope to hear back from you soon.


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