The Beautiful Rainbow

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Well, things have really started to look up. I can’t say at this point that my life is perfect, but I do know that I didn’t want to be one of those angry people that had this disease and was in denial, blaming others and being irresponsible. In the last 2 years, I think that on some level I have come to terms with my condition. that is not to say that I don’t struggle with sadness, a sense of loss, and why me! But why not me?

I don’t believe that God puts more on us than we can bear. I also don’t believe that he will bring us to a situation in which He cannot bring us through. Sharing my story on this blog has helped me heal emotionally and spiritually. In the beginning I was very angry at my ex husband. I couldn’t believe that someone who loved me, (or was supposed to love me), would do something like this to me. I also have to realize that he was going through some things as well. Although I don’t feel that I had much control over how I contracted this disease, I do have control over how I allow it to affect my life.

Sure I could be the victim, but why? There is nothing that I can do at this point to change it, so why not put all of that anger and hatred aside and try to help the next woman struggling try to find her voice and guide her through this emotional pain.

I have lost several friends and a few members of my family when I disclosed to them about my diagnosis. The man that raised me didn’t want me in his home for Christmas. Although I am still a little hurt by that, but I have learned my part in this situation. Sometimes we must remove ourselves from people that hurt us, even if its family. If we continue to place ourselves in a position to be hurt, we will never heal. Not physically, emotionally, mentally, or spirituality. We can lead happy healthy lives once we come to terms with her illness.

Until next time take care of your health…..

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